3 Reasons Why It Is Hard To Change!
We all get stuck.
No matter how devoted we are to our personal growth and quantum leaps. Sometimes a 'plateau' seems to go on forever with no shift or up-level in sight!
We are doing everything right in our daily practise! But it gets to the 'Groundhog Day' stage where we feel as though we are living exactly the same events over and over.
Research by psychologists has shown that on any given day, 99% of our thoughts are exactly the same as the day before. That means that we are trapped in reliving every day, a life that seems not to change. Is it any wonder we are plagued by despair, sadness, exhaustion, and addictions?
Majority of these thoughts are of past regret, future anxiety and uncertainty or doubt, especially self-doubt or fear of something that might happen. Why? Why aren't we showered by happy, positive miraculous thoughts?
That is when we get annoyed with ourselves and can often start a 'beating up' conversation in our heads. Which is not a good idea.
That is the moment we should remind ourselves that nature built uswith a strange paradox of feeling the pull to grow and expand, whilst programming us to resist that growth!
Are we humans weird or what?
Some mind experts claim that we are challenged by fear. But that is not strictly true and way too general. The biggest resistance we all carry, is not to fear, but to change itself.
Because of an epic quirk of biology, our mind (and therefore our body, made up 30 trillion cells) wants to keep you in familiar territory at all costs. That is the biology of our make-up.
At the same time we wouldn’t be human if we were not able to evolve. Human society has been one of constant change and re-invention since time imemorial.
We evolved from single cell organisms over aeons, so adaptation is in our blood.
As modern humans we are geared to life-long learning and growth. Our brain cells are continually forming new connections and restructuring our perceptions and physiology.
This process of neuro-plasticity as it is called, happens thousands of times in a day, giving us enormous potential to change if we put awareness, effort and commitment into making it happen.
Otherwise, even with life-threatening events going on aroundus we find ourselves automatically following the same routines, the same feelings, the same sensations, and the same stucknesses.
Our triune brain has three parts: the so called, reptilian brain, which is responsible for our primary motives such as eating,
sleeping and sex; the limbic system which includes our emotions, connection with others, memory and habits; the pre-frontal cortex which is responsible for synthesis and higher order thinking.
It takes more effort and energy to think about and do something new, than react out of instinct or habit.
In fact there are three resistances going on:
1: The resistance to change - going beyond what is familiar and comfortable for you, your default functioning.
2. The resistance at the 'gatekeeper' stage of thought; ie, your conscious is working overtime to try and work out how you're going to achieve what you want to achieve and
conflicting with the subconscious default set point. This sets up conflict which is exhausting.
3 Then you have your souls resistance through the lack of high emotions and a state of bliss and flow. This comes from finding ourselves in a daily reality that has been created by
long term default functioning, but does not correspond with our highest vision of life, our soul quest.
Though science is still new in explaining the role of our soul in our growth, nevertheless, it has been proved that we absolutely must have a heart-brain coherence for change to happen.
We must get our hearts in charge of our mind and not the other way around.
Of course, willpower, focussed attention and mindful action can be used to push through resistance and rewire habitual patterns. Creating rituals to embed new behaviours into daily life can be key.
Reinforcing positive change with support and immediate feedback from others—a buddy, leader or coach—will help also tap our reward systems and associate new behaviours with positive emotions and learning.
But the most catalytic change will occur when we master heart-brain coherence by living a life created by our soul and then we align our thoughts and habits with that.
We create our reality through our FOCUS. Anything that takes our focus or attention initiates a thought and a thought creates a vibration. Whatever frequency we are vibrating at, we attract like frequency. By creating a lifestyle and habits that are of the highest vibe, (in harmony with our soul vision), we begin to re-create the reality our heart desires!
The trick isto master mindfulness.
The question we should always be asking is, "What am I thinking and what am I feeling while thinking this particular thought?"
Find out the exact feeling that is generated when we have a rush of thoughts. This feeling is what we will attract for now and for future.
Nothing different, but identical to what we are feeling right NOW!
So try keeping a small note book and tracking your inner dialogue over a week, or record your self-observations on your smart phone.
It is only by stepping outside of ourselves, that we can see what inner conversation running in the background and how it keeps us stuck.
Finding the zone of bliss begins with raising endorphins.
I recommend discipline (being a disciple of your dream!) in mindfulness, self care, more exercise, more music, making yourself change your well-being habits incrementally so you gain in energy and raise your vibes.
But the most lasting change will come when you commit to a soul-led life as 'the boss'. That's when you start to become the empowered hero starring in your own movie.
You can re-write the script exactly as you choose and the more it makes your heart sing, and your body tingle, the faster change will come.